GAGA Saints

Bringing Healthy-Minded LDS Singles Together

Dangers of Falling in Love - Part 1

Ever notice how some people tend to repeat the same mistakes?  Why and how does that happen?

There are men who are drawn to women who surprisingly turn out to be compulsive spenders, or nags, or substance abusers, or compulsive collectors.  There are women who are drawn to men who surprisingly turn out to be womanizers, chronically unfaithful, abusive, or scoundrels.

A highly respected psychologist and mentor of mine once stated that he did not offer marital therapy in his practice because he believed people choose the spouses they deserve!  I disagree.  Nevertheless, with unnerving frequency we see people move through a series of relationships that go bad, often for the same reasons.

One important factor that can lead to a repeated mistake is desperation.  Needing to be in love makes one vulnerable to myriad errors of judgment.  Relax, take your time, and exercise due diligence in evaluating both your potential partner and your own drives and reactions.  Consider trusting in the Lord to set your course to where it should go rather than willing your way to your wish fulfillment.  That will help ease the urgency you may feel to fill the void, and allow you to take the time and make the honest efforts you need to in getting to know and committing to love someone in a way that will satisfy and endure.

Views: 22

Comment

You need to be a member of GAGA Saints to add comments!

Join GAGA Saints

Comment by Deborah Algra on November 11, 2011 at 4:27pm

Well,  I have to go on with my story a bit... I still do not have a different answer just I know at that time the Lord really wanted us to be together... and it was showing... everything difficult getting together was suddenly melting away... really some force :) was working. I also got an answer when I asked why it all went so fast:" this process will go in a fast pace till this process is finished" During my marriage there were oh so many times that I called out to the Lord, why did I have to marry this man, why did you bring us together... and oh so many times that I asked the Lord if I please please can get His ok to get a divorce.... and then at a very severe time, when I was asking Him why my children and me had to suffer so much... there was an answer: and with the answer came peace again for a time.... "your children still have to learn some things"..... And you know what? The last time my daughter visited with me, she told me out of the blue, that she in spite of the hard times, had to admit that she also learned a great deal from my ex!!!! And at that moment that I heard that, it felt as a re-affirmation of that answer so long before...... Anyway, a lot of time has passed... almost three years since we separated, and we are now officially divorced for over a year, I have been taking a lot of therapy, have been severly depressed for a long time... but I can tell anyone who is still in there, it goes by. I took anti-depressivants for a while... and that was good because it gave me a different outlook on things, and helped me out of the downward spirale. Much later it was discovered that I have an auto-immune sickness; I cannot take into my system the vitamine -B12... and one of the results are that you get depressed... so that definitely has not been helping at that time, LOL. I am not depressed anymore, I have joy back in my life, more and more things that belong to me are coming back... I even started singing again, of late! And that has really been a long, long time ago. It feels wonderful to be back with myself. I have a small job, and the promise that the Lord gave me in a blessing some two years ago, that "He will give me all that I need" has come through all that time, and still does now. I feel Blessed, even though I might not get the answer on my question in this life :) My temple marriage is going to be anulled and that also feels good. The papers are in Salt Lake by now. So it is almost done. And I am living again, and I am glad. I know that if we always turn to the Lord for help and answers and support... He will always give us what we need.

Comment by Arlene on November 11, 2011 at 2:33am

Amen, Good comments I agree 100%.  We all better start breaking patterns, look where the world is at.  Somethings got to change.  Arlene

Comment by Julia Simmons on June 13, 2011 at 8:06pm

Wow, Deborah. That is a lot to think about and feel and experience. Surely this weighs on your mind. I think that one of the very painful and real things about life is that we can only control our own morality, treatment of others and choices, and even our best leaves others hurting some too.

I don't like to experience this type of reality. In this life we are subject to the effects of other people's choices. We only can decide how we will respond. Your divorce is truly sad and I am sorry. Your children are a blessing and they still have much they can accomplish and attain in this life and the next and your efforts will be blessed by the Lord.

Sometimes what seems like 'a handful of flour' or a 'mustard seed' of success, is still something that God does miracles with. I have learned that that is one of God's greatest talents. He loves to take our nothingness and make it into something grand. He may have given you that experience because he sees it will lead to much more than just a divorce.

My heart goes out to you and I hope the best for you. Some kids have life go perfect till they hit adulthood then they wonder where God is when things get hard. Your kids know that life throws things unexpectadly, in some ways that will better serve them.

Comment by Deborah Algra on May 18, 2011 at 11:55am
Dear Mark, I agree to all that you write ... but still I am looking for answers... I married a man... after we both fasted and didn't see eachother during the fasting time and took a few days... I got a very clear and not to be mistaken answer after my fasting... he also had his answer... we married... and still I ended up with a divorce, going to anull my temple marriage, my children from a former marriage and I scarred. But until today I know I made a good decision, with the Lord. Howcome would it be that He gave me this husband? I can only come up with one answer, which is not making me happy, but I would not know what other answer there can be: Apparantly we needed this experience? And the experience that now comes after? are there still other better answers? I would like to hear your views. When we married, I know for sure that I was worthy... I was in balance with myself and my children, we were happy ...

Groups

Rebekah's Motherly Influence

Photo Source: See Reference Below

Written by Julia Simmons for GAGASAINTS, May, 2012

 

There once was a woman named Rebekah, who was at a well, getting water during Bible times. She had no idea she was an answer to prayers for the man near by. She offered to get him and his camels water. He was amazed at this virgin, who no man had known. Before she left, the same man approached her and asked her who she was, then put jewelry on her, met her brother, went to her house and proposed a plan whereby she would marry the son (Isaac) of his master (Abraham). Yes, daddy Abraham needed grandchildren! After all, he was told he would have a tremendous posterity!

 

Meanwhile, Isaac went to the field to meditate. To his delight, she arrived, got off the camel, veiled her face and was brought to his tent where she became his beloved wife. He was forty years old when he married her. He loved her. However, she didn’t have children until he prayed to God asking for her to get pregnant. She struggled during the pregnancy and was told by God that two nations wrestled inside of her. Can you imagine? She was told that the younger one would rule over the older one.

 

However, Isaac favored the older one and would have given him the greater blessing if it was not for Rebekah’s wise intervention. She told Jacob to get some meat so she could cook it and she put together an outfit that would feel and smell like the other son. The younger one, who received the blessing, was named Jacob.  She had to warn him about his brother, Esau’s, anger toward him. He was obedient and went to stay with her brother for a while.

 

Later, she mourned because Esau was not married to righteous women. She begged her husband to help Jacob marry a righteous woman, even if she lived farther away. Her husband listened to her. Jacob married beautiful Rachel soon after. Rachel’s son Joseph was his favorite, so this made his other kids jealous and they sold him to the Egyptians. Meanwhile, Rachel was told that he was dead.  While Joseph was in Egypt, she had another son.

 

Joseph’s children became heirs of great blessings and many of his descendants are Latter Day Saints today. What would have come of all of this had Rebekah not had faith to marry someone she did not know? What would have happened if she had not insisted that her son marry a worthy woman? Would Joseph ever had been born? Would the 12 tribes of Israel even exist (they were created by Jacob’s 12 sons, who he had through Leah, Rachel and their servants).

 

Rebekah’s faithfulness has helped to bring about millions of lives into the gospel. She did as her mother and brother had hoped when they said, “…be thou the mother of thousands of millions and let they seed possess the gate of those which hate them.” 1. She is likely great grandmother of yours; a mother you can call your own, who loves you, wants the best for you and did all she could to save your soul. Bless Rebekah and may our lives honor her through the way we live our faith today.

 

 

Reference

Photo Source: 

http://freechristimages.org/biblestories/isaac_and_rebecca.htm

1)Genesis 24:60

 

 


Sabbath Gems

Trust

Pure Love

Parable of the Pumpkin

Soul

Always

Fasting

Charity

Eternal Life

Courage

Gratitude

Priestcraft

Redemption

Mustard Seed

Holiness

Faith

Anti-Aging Chronicles

Living Young, Volume 1

Living Young, Volume 2

Living Young, Volume 3

Living Young, Volume 4

Living Young, Volume 5

Living Young, Volume 6

Living Young, Volume 7

Living Young, Volume 8

© 2012   Created by Tom Wright.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service

Sign in to chat!